Internet Meme

I am a bit uninspired and lethargic today thanks to the many rich foods I had last night at my employment celebration dinner. So, it's internet meme time.


1. What kind of SOAP is in your bathtub right now?
Aveeno

2. Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator?
Nope But I do have a decadent fruit salad thanks to my mom.

3. What would you change about your living room?
I would get rid of all the newspapers everywhere and replace the sofas.

4. Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty?
Clean - which reminds me I have to empty it ASAP

5. What is in your fridge?
Enough food for 3 people and I am too lazy to list all of it. I know yogurt, lots of cheeses, and a crisper stuffed with fresh veggies.

6. White or wheat bread?
Wheat

7. What is on top of your refrigerator?
Nothing

8. What color or design is on your shower curtain?
They're clear

9. How many plants are in your home?
1. Rasputin's pet grass.

10. Is your bed made right now?
Yes. And covered with clothes plus Ras.

11. Comet or Soft Scrub?
Comet! Scratches are fine.

12. Is your closet organized?
Yes. You have to have an organized closet if you have recently moved.

13. Can you describe your flashlight?
It is neon orange, large and fits comfortably in my hand.

14. Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home?
Plastic

15. Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now?
Nope but we do have those individual tea packet thingies.

16. If you have a garage, is it cluttered?
Holy hell yes, my entire living room from my old apartment is crammed into it.

17. Curtains or blinds?
Both. Blinds and curtains on all windows.

18. How many pillows do you sleep with?
3. 2 under my head and the 3rd one is just decorative or Rasputin's feather bed depending.

19. Do you sleep with any lights on at night?
Hell no. I need absolute dark and silence to sleep.

20. How often do you vacuum?
Once a month

21. Standard toothbrush or electric?
Electric Sonicare.

22. What color is your toothbrush?
White and Blue.

23. Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch?
No

24. What is in your oven right now?
Nothing

25. Is there anything under your bed?
Yes. Shoes under and a comforter.

26. Chore you hate doing the most?
Doing the dishes (luckily that's my dad's dept)

27. What retro items are in your home?
A turntable, an old iMac, a gas dryer, and basically our entire basement.

28. Do you have a separate room that you use as an office?
Yes. We have a study.

29. How many mirrors are in your home?
4. 2 bathroom and 2 bedroom.

30. Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home?
I don't think so

31. What color are your walls?
Sky blue in my bedroom

32. Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home?
Nope

33. What does your home smell like right now?
Pollen. I am congested today

34. Favorite candle scent?
Citrus anything. Also holiday spices like spiced pumpkin, cranberry chutney etc. I LOATHE "clean cotton". It just smells like Tide.

35. What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now?
Dill

36. What color is your favorite Bible?
I'm Jewish. N/A. Plus, they come in colors?

37. Ever been on your roof?
Nope.

38. Do you own a stereo?
Yes.

39. How many TVs do you have?
3 - 1 in my bedroom, 1 in the livingroom, and 1 in my parent's bedroom.

40. How many house phones?
2

41. Do you have a housekeeper?
I wish!

42. What style do you decorate in?
Budget/on sale style.

43. Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints?
Solid colors but I do love me a nice Moroccan print.

44. Is there a smoke detector in your home?
Yes

45. In case of fire, what are the items in your house which you’d grab if you only could make one quick trip?
Rasputin and my red cross emergency pack

I Got the Job!!!

My start date is July 20. Woooohooo!!!

Lots Better

Okay, I know I have been sporadic and a big downer lately so I'm trying to focus on a lot of positives now. For example, my car brakes are finally functioning like normal. Granted it took replacing all of them and $500... But I am happy I found a mechanic who didn't feed me the line that "Oh Ford Focus brakes are always like that." Seriously, my car has needed a brake job for YEARS! Now, it's all good thanks to the money I'm saving living with my parents and the time I have available by being unemployed.

Speaking of, this is the week I should be hearing about that job that has had me interview 4 times over 4 months. I'm keeping my fingers crossed but not pinning all my hopes on this job. It is my dream job but if I don't get it, it wasn't meant to be. Right now, I am toying with the idea of moving back to the Pioneer Valley. It's a different vibe out there and I have happy and relaxing memories of the area. Plus, my brother lives in Holyoke so I wouldn't be completely cut off.

My brother has been living with us for the past month working on repainting the house when it isn't raining. Since it has rained A LOT, he has gotten me almost caught up on Lost. I liked the show a lot in season 1 but started getting frustrated with season 2 and by season 3, I completely dropped it. The good part of Lostathons is that all my complaints about the show when it aired are gone. Watching live, I thought there was no overarching plan, Jack was insufferable and ditto for Kate. A big mystery is hinted at in the first couple episodes and only is answered in the finale over 6 months later so you forget a lot of details and interest has waned (of course ABC's scheduling sucked too). But watching an entire season over a couple of days, you can see the overarching storyline and the mystery is way huger and interesting. Plus, Jack and Kate are mere blips in the big picture. I am up to the season 4 three part finale. I love Desmond and Dan Faraday. Plus, time travel could be very cool! Ben is one of the best villains on TV.

Oh yeah, that fight with my mother has resulted in better communication between us. I just wish I knew a better argument method than emotionally vomit and napalm my day. I do argue better with non-family members but having all 4 of us under the same roof in the same house kinda regresses me. It is sometimes tough to remember that I'm 32.

An Awful Morning

Well, I tried having a talk with my mother this morning and it went very badly. She told me that I enjoy being a victim and I told her that she's a robot (button pushing at it's best in my family). I found this list from a social worker in an article on how to stop being a victim. It made me happy and sad.

MY PERSONAL BILL OF RIGHTS

I have the right to make my own choices.

I have the right to follow my own values and standards,
as long as I am not abusive towards others.

I have a right to dignity and respect.

I have a right to all of my feelings.

I have the right to express myself as long as I am not abusive toward others.

I have a right to determine and honour my own priorities.

I have a right to recognize and accept my own value system as appropriate.

I have a right to have my needs and wants respected by others.

I have the right to say no when I feel I am not ready, unsafe,
or if it violates my values

I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

I have the right not to be responsible for others behaviour,
actions, feelings or problems.

I have a right to be uniquely me, without feeling I'm not good enough.

I have the right to make decisions based on my
feelings and judgment for any reason.

I have the right to change my mind at any time.

I have the right to my personal space and time needs.

I have the right to be flexible and be comfortable with doing so.

I have the right to be in a safe, non-abusive environment.

I have the right to forgive others and forgive myself.

I have the right to give and receive unconditional love.

I have the right to enjoy being sexual and celebrate my sexuality.

I have the right to my own spiritual beliefs and to celebrate them.

I have the right to grieve when I don't get what I need.

I have the right to grieve when I get something I didn't need or want.

I have the right to joyfully receive without feeling guilty.

I have the right to healthy relationships of my choice.

I have the right to be angry with someone I love.

I have the right to be, and can be, healthier than those around me.

I have the right to trust others who earn my trust.

I have the right to terminate conversations for any reason.

I have a right to expect honesty from others.

I have the right to change and grow.

I have the right to follow my own path.

I have the right to be happy.

No Radio Contact

Nothing much has been happening lately except rain, rain, and more rain. I had a job interview last week after absolutely no sleep. I have finally gotten back on a sane sleeping cycle thanks to melatonin. My brother told me something gross about melatonin. If you don't get the vegetarian kind, you're basically taking ground up cow brain. Ew!

This is a week where I'm feeling particularly hopeless and stressed about my job search. So far, I have 4 staffing agencies working for me. Have they gotten me a single interview? No. Massachusetts needs a loan from the federal government to continue to pay unemployment benefits. I've been looking into classes the Dept of Labor offers. Most of them are insanely expensive with no financial aid available. So that is incredibly disheartening. Even my administrative job applications aren't getting me any results. As I enter month 5 of unemployment, I'm starting to wonder if I will find any job this year. So my dream of moving out of my parent's place in October will probably remain a dream.

My brother has been back here for the past several weeks to paint the back half of the house (when it isn't raining). At first, it was annoying having him around. He messed up my routine and coping for living with my parents. He'd suggest doing something X way and it was something that I had given up on trying to change then lo and behold, my parents would listen to their golden son and actually CHANGE! So, I felt even more invisible and inconvenient for a couple weeks. But over time, life at home has worn my brother down so he has embraced the hopelessness. Nothing will change and we're just an annoyance. It's nice having a comrade in arms now! He's also getting me into Lost. I discovered that it's a good show if you watch seasons on DVD. If you watch it live on TV, it is frustrating as hell. We just finished season 2 (which was basically catch up for me). Season 3 is all new for me.

The Best Darn Shampoo/Conditioner Ever!

My hair has been a disaster lately for two reasons: I am trying to grow it out and my hair was stripped from past salon visits so I had maybe an inch of healthy hair. Basically, my hair doesn't really respond to any shampoo/conditioner I try. I also have very fine thin hair.

BUT John Frieda's Root Awakening line is simply amazing. I use nourishing shampoo and strength restoring conditioner. My hair has actual body, looks good, and feels heartier. I still have to try the detangling spray. The only reason why I picked this product up was because it was on sale and I had coupons. So, that was an awesome cheap intro. But now that I'm hooked, I'll probably shell out some $$ to keep up my supply! My last salon appointment was back in February so hopefully I have grown out 2 inches of healthy roots. John Frieda will be helping those inches in months to come!

What a Difference 8 Years Makes

Eight years ago today, I woke up paralyzed on my left side and with a splitting headache. It was the stroke that changed my entire life. I was really lucky (age and fast ambulance response helped a lot). Unfortunately, I had my stroke before tPA was standardized for stroking patients. That is one might have been that I try not to dwell on.

I was in ICU at Beth Israel Hospital for a week. Almost everyone, besides one horrible doctor, was fabulous and supportive. The horrible doctor told my mother that because I was so sleepy in the first couple days, I would die. Which was BULLSHIT! Um hi, I am alive and it has been eights years. Nice diagnosis doc... Also, can I recommend treatment for your lack of bed side manner? Maybe I was sleepy because I wasn't allowed to sleep for any extended period of time because nurses woke me every couple of hours to make sure I wasn't in a coma thanks to my brain bleed.

After that week, I went to Healthsouth rehab. Overall, I had excellent treatment but there were a couple not so great incidents. I had clothing stolen from my room. In the middle of the night, my room-mate who was elderly and completely paralyzed, was left on the toilet in the bathroom. I woke up to her moaning and had to call a nurse.

The one thing I learned about being hospitalized was that there is no shame allowed. Everyone will see you naked at some point. You will have to be looked after like a baby and if you feel shitty every time, get over it. I had complete strangers wiping my ass, mopping up drool, and teaching me how to shower.

So, what has happened since June 10, 2001? Well, my entire family went into therapy (separately). We're a lot stronger now. I lost 90lbs in 3 years and gained it all back in 5. I don't have any grandmothers anymore. I'm on anti-depressants. I've had 2 apartments and 4 jobs. I've been laid off twice. I have my MBA and a gorgeous cat. I'm also Jewish. The last time I was hospitalized was March 2002 - woohoo!

My Mom Has a Crush

Since Burn Notice is starting a new season, I caught up thanks to USA's marathon. Both my parents were around for various episodes and I think I have turned them into fans! In my mother's case, she thinks Bruce should win an emmy for the joie de vivre he brings to Sam Axe. So, my mom has a total crush on The Chin. It could work. He's around my mom's age and is divorced.